Mainstream...Not so much!

parents raise their children with the idea that they can be anything they want to be when they grow up. you can do anything you set your mind to! "climb high, climb far. your goal the sky, your aim the stars!" blah blah blah blah blah. but then parents usually get discouraged when their child is attracted to the same sex or wants their nose pierced or falls in love with tattoos. parents get discouraged when their child changes his or her major or drops out of college all together; when their child falls in love with someone they don't approve of; when their child quits his or her dependable job and sets out to pursue a passion. yes some of these decisions could be mistakes and the parents could have the lovely satisfaction of saying, "i told you so," but what if they aren't mistakes? what's worse? preventing your child from making their own decisions based on the fear that they could be making a mistake or letting your child make that decision and it potentially be the wrong one? as we grow up, our parents hope for us to be happy...but then they have their own idea of what "happy" is. if we are raised to believe we can be anybody and do anything we set our minds to, then we should be able to explore those choices we have to gain what we need, desire, or want to be anybody and do anything.

it's 2010. movies from the 80's depicted us getting around in hover crafts by now. right? :) and yet the mainstream ideas are still black and white and straight and narrow. be happy and successful but do it without marking your body, coloring your hair, loving the same sex, being spontaneous, pursuing far fetched dreams, and stepping too far outside the box. follow the guidelines so as not to offend anyone with your individuality! follow the cookie cutter pattern. conform!!! ugh. BORING!

yes i'm on my soapbox but it's been a long time coming:) i was a shy child, but i grew out of it...haha...obviously! i realized my social awkwardness came from the fact that i didn't want to do what everyone else was doing. i love sharing this story...it makes me proud:) i remember my last day of kindergarten. on a normal day we would have a period of time to select a colored shape piece of construction paper from our envelope that represented a particular station in the classroom to play in. each day you had to pick a different shape until you cycled back around. on the last day of class, we were allowed to pick whatever we wanted! i am not exaggerating in the slightest bit. all the boys wanted to play with the blocks and all the girls wanted to play house with the dolls and kitchen set...well...except for me. i wanted to paint. i was so happy to be the only one in the art corner! i tied my apron on and set my paper up on the easel and set out my paints...but before i could dip in to the first color, my teacher asked me why i didn't want to play with the other girls? i replied that i wanted to paint and didn't want to play house. she probably thought i was being the outcast so she encouraged the other girls to beckon me over. so they were all cheering, "amy, come play with us! we want you to play with us!" but damn it i really wanted to paint! however, since i felt like by arguing i was only causing unnecessary drama, i went ahead and joined the other girls. i'm sure my little 6 year old brain wasn't quite processing the situation as i have reflected but i do know that i wanted to do something different from everyone else but was peer pressured into something else. i'm proud of this story because i was comfortable and confident enough at the age to go for what i wanted...even if i didn't follow through...at least i took that step.

throughout my life i have made decisions that have caused stress and upset for those who love me. some of those choices were mistakes and i recognized those and apologized for them. i think that finally at almost 28 years old, people are understanding that i'm going to do whatever i want whether they like it or not and yes it might be wrong but i'll keep trying until i get it right! i might have to explain my decisions and actions to give some peace of mind, but at least no one is tyring to discourage me...too much anyway! so i've delved in to this topic because of one seemingly little incident at work. i violated the dress code!





i added a rainbow to my hair!!! so shocking!!! the dress code for Sam's Club is quite long and specific to certain departments, but the overall guideline for hair is that it must be "conservative in cut and color." my options were to leave work and not come back until it was fixed or wear a hat until it was fixed. i asked if i could keep the color and invest in some hats to wear to work everyday but was told that i wasn't allowed to wear hats all the time...apparently managers can wear baseball caps on occasion but a trendy fedora or something similar would not be allowed. hmmm. to be fair, i must point out that the managers did indeed love my hair but had no control over the dress code and therefore had no choice but to enforce it. however, i am one of the best dressed and most well spoken associates there, and if i were in the position of deciding whether or not the hair should be changed, i would say keep it until someone from corporate says something...and once someone from corporate says something, well, then i'd fight it:) i got to keep the hair for a little more than 2 weeks and then it was changed but my oh so talented hair stylist (Brett Fieldcamp). so many people encouraged me to fight this policy and normally it's something i would do...but it's time for me to move on from Sam's Club...and that will be my next post!

until then! parents who read this...please remember that your children might make wrong decisions, but as long as they are not hurting themselves or others or putting their lives or health in jeopardy, let them be individuals! anyone who reads this...please remember that just because the girl checking out your groceries might have multi colored hair, tattoos, and piercings, doesn't mean she's a shady character. embrace individuality and see it for it's unique beauty!