Overwhelming Passion

Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations in Sardinia...tonight's episode. Gah! He makes you so crazy with desire for the places he goes and the foods he eats...the culture he experiences and the people he meets! (Did not mean to rhyme! Ha!) I'm not even going to try and describe Sardinia...well maybe just a little I suppose. Absolutely picturesque of course with the blue skies, rolling green hills, shepherds and their goats, hunks of meat skewered by the fire, and bread (ah sorry can't remember the name of it) topped with fresh goat cheese and local honey. Oh yeah...and wine wine wine...and wine! The buildings in town painted with murals of political scenes could be the photos from a pop up book...vivid and full of life. Sardinia is where Anthony's wife's family lives...or close by anyway...so it was like being a part of a family dinner with each meal. The meals included things I'd never imagine myself eating: snails, eels, blood and bread cooked in a pig's stomach, and a whole baby pig with his innards separated and cooked wrapped in his stomach lining...yum! :) But seriously! I am so open for any new experience including food that I would try anything from anywhere. Hmm...I don't think I'd ever eat dog or cat though...way too domestic and sad! Anyway! Anthony always seems to get totally swept up in his show and it's like his passion is endless. This is really what inspired me to write. I love this show...but I love a lot of things...and really it all comes out of my passion. My passion overwhelms me! I've shared this statement before I'm sure, but I think I'm finally reaching that breaking point where I might just explode if my wanderlust and obsession with the world in all of it's entirety are not fulfilled...like asap I'm talkin'!

Seriously! I need to get out of Oklahoma...or at least start by making it to some places I haven't even seen in my own state! But eventually...soon preferably...I need to take on the world! That was always my dream. I use to write in my journals that I had two dreams: To travel the world and to be kissed. Well there certainly has been enough kissing but not enough traveling! If I could go back to my first kiss at 17 (yes I was that old!), and someone came up to me right there in the lake, while my legs and arms were wrapped around the cute boy and our mouths just breaths away, and said, "Wait...how about going to Ireland instead of kissing this boy?" Well...no doubt about it...Ireland would win that toss up! Or so I say now anyway.

I'm desperate for something different and I feel so alone in this obsession! Most of my girlfriends talk about biological time clocks, marriage, and houses and are happy with their lives and the plans they have with their significant others. Of course they have all done way more travelling than I have and were fortunate enough to grow up in families that could take them on trips every summer or winter...or both! My family gave me more opportunities than any of them ever had and I will forever be grateful for that! But now it's all up to me! Nobody is buying me a ticket on a plane or a boat...nobody is going to take me anywhere. I have to take myself...and that's a hard task when you're so far in debt from only two years of college and a few doctors visits. It's also more difficult that Tommy really has no desire to travel whatsoever! So that's why I'm so aggressive about this...that is why I'm so passionate about all of this. I'm only one woman with the passion equal to that of 100 or more and what I want is all up to me alone! I want something different!!!

No biological time clock exists in me! Marriage is no where in the crystal ball. A house...well I wouldn't mind one of those. But what I want the very most...more than anything...almost anything anyway...is to travel! To taste, listen, smell, and experience the world in every way possible. To capture it all with my camera. To share stories with my family, friends, kids of family and friends. To go wherever I want...live wherever I want for however long...eat and dance and love and cherish the beauty of our earth and the different cultures all over it.

I want it..so I'll have it...eventually.